Thursday, August 27, 2009

Tell me a story.......................reminiscing about 1927!











Ok I know I am old but I am not taking everyone back quite that far! I am talking about the band 1927 and unless your 30 plus and grew up in Australia you would probably have no idea who I am talking about, but back in 1989 they were the cats meow! I would spend hours and I mean hours arguing with my best friend Vanessa debating who loved the lead singer Eric more!!! And even though no one ever won this discussion it was never really about Eric it was really all about our friendship.

So its a strange thing to be heading along to their 20th Anniversary of their first single "Thats When I Think of You", without my best friend but with my husband. Don't get me wrong I love that David is happy to share something special like this with me, but there is something special about sharing and reminiscing about another time when we were crazy teenagers before life got in the way, in the days when life really was carefree and fun, even though at the time I did not realize this!

In a way seeing this band makes me a little melencholy we've all got a little older and some now have dreadlocks and piercings(and that is not me by the way lol)about a past time and a lost friendship. Vanessa and myself used to be inseperable, we did everything and shared everything together, our deepest secrets and fears to our first kisses and secret crushes. But some how 20 years later we lost what I thought we would never loose and that was we drifted apart. Its funny we managed to stay close through so many things like living overseas and through lost loves and failed relationships and no matter how much time went past we could come back together and it was like we had never been apart.


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So where did things go wrong I am not sure............but its something that leaves me in a sad place whenever I think about it at the moment. I am not pointing fingers or putting the blame on either end as I think like any relationship no matter how easy or comfortable you are, it still needs to be worked at and appriciated so it can grow and develop and I think that is what happened we both ignored it and allowed ourselves to be hurt in the process about certain events until one day we woke up and realized to much damage and hurt had taken place and I think we came to a place that we were very unfamilar with and that we didn't know how to fix it!

I know it sounds obscure as all I have to do is be brave enough to pick up the phone, but I feel there has been so much pain over the last several years that to put my foot back in the ring and set myself up to be hurt again, well I just think I don't have the strength to do that even though it was a friendship worth fighting for.

I am not typing this post to put my grievances out in the open, I guess I am just reflecting about life and change and how important it is to make a little bit of time for the people that mean something to you. Its such a hard and exhausting thing sometimes to find the time as I feel like I barely have enough time to share with my children and husband , but I don't want to loose me in that process either as I feel that is an important thing to pass on to my children that there are many types of relationships and loves and they are all equally important as they make you who you are and the type of person that you are or that you want to be. I feel its important to teach your children that life is not going to be happy and perfect all the time and that without pain we can never truly appricate how beautiful and special life can be.

Life is certainly a funny creature, if you had asked me when I was a teenager where I would be when I was in my thirties and what i envisioned was far, far away from where I landed. Do I have any regrets yes but i feel that is the way we learn in life and would I change anything, I probably should say yes, but I don't think I would have changed my path to much. The only thing I am really sad about is that i wasn't a little more truthful about my friendships and that I wasn't a little more honest and open about how I felt.

I always envisioned that our friendship would be like in the movie "Beaches"(but without the death lol), that we would be their for each other when we had children and that distance and life would not hold us back! So on reflection these are the things that make me sad and that I am going to miss. I wish only beautiful things my sweet friend!



I guess I am reflecting a little to much about life, love and loss at the moment and I am not complaining because when I read about people like Sheye who have lost a child it makes me realize that I have nothing to complain about in the slightest, I am just one of those sensetive souls that reads way to much into everything and sometimes feels way to deeply for my own good and as much as I hate that I am like that, I appricate the fact that I get to experience things so deeply.

My dog is very ill at the moment and doesn't have long to go and I know that I am going to have to make that hard decision soon to put him down and I know that after 13 years that it is going to kill me to make that decision even though that is the best thing for him. Life is certainly a fragile thing and even though it is excrushiatingly painful sometimes it is also a beautiful thing, just when you think you can't take much more life throws you a rainbow. So I am just going to try and let the sunshine in and I know that rainbow is out there just around the corner.

So thank you honey for allowing me to feel like a teenager for 10 minutes, I had a lovely night. I feel very fortunate that I got to spend the night with my love, my friend and my soul mate! Would I swap him for Eric the lead singer now............let me think..............NO WAY!

Hugs Kylie xx







1 comment:

grandma and poppy b said...

Oh Kylie, I had a little cry reading your reminiscing story, I can remember a couple of friends growing up together, laughing and haveing fun, which you and Vanessa did and were so very lucky to share such a close friendship, unfortunately distance and children can take up such a huge part of our lives and sometimes you feel that you loose something that you can't get back, I'm sure you will always be friends, but maybe not quite so close any more. Life is a funny thing and can change at the drop of a hat.
You will always have your memories close to your heart forever, and isn't it great to have them. Haveing a loving husband and family
of your own is so very precious.
love you....Mum xo